Today wasn't technically the first day of class. That dubious honor went to Wednesday, but today was the first day that I actually had to teach my three discussion sections. I left my house bright and early, imagining that I would amaze my class by making them copies of a syllabus that resembled every other syllabus on the planet. At 8am, despite the sign that assured me that the copy/mail room would be open from 8am-5pm, the door remained firmly locked. I don't have keys, as my status as a grad student peon ensures that I lack the authority to actually do things like unlock doors. At 8:30am, the door still showed no signs of opening, despite my frequent evil stares and tries at the handle. The philosophy department down the hall had a key, but the secretary couldn't find it and told me she hoped that she hadn't left the key dangling in the door at some indeterminate time last week. Realizing that I wouldn't have copies, I left the department and headed to my classroom with only a single copy of the syllabus. I finally found my classroom and quickly discovered that the door, like that of the copy room, remained locked, despite my prayers and attempts to open it. Fortunately, this locked classroom door scenario had happened to me before and I knew that salvation could be found in a quick call to Room Scheduling. Being a trained professional, I didn't panic. Alas, I couldn't remember the number and resorted to dialing random university-sounding numbers in an attempt to get transferred to the elusive Room Scheduling office. After finally reaching the Geosciences department, the department secretary transferred me to the right number. "Um," I stammered, "I'm supposed to be teaching in Education 502 and the door to that room is locked." The man on the phone remained unmoved by my plight. "Did you try the handle?" he asked. It was one of those moments when I actually stared at the phone for a second. Did I try the handle? OFCOURSEITRIEDTHEHANDLE! What else would I have done? How else would I know it was locked? After convincing him that the door really was locked, he agreed to send someone to help. Upon finally gaining entrance to the room, I was reasonably sure that nothing else would or could go wrong. Surprise! I had no class rosters. I logged on to the system and consistently received a message that I had no students listed for this semester. Without a syllabus or any idea of how many students I had or who they might be, the semester began. It was an awesome day. And by awesome, I mean utterly ridiculous. Happy Friday!
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